Look up

Life can be slightly complicated especially when you find yourself stuck. You despair and you don’t know what to do. You find yourself in this maze running and running without a way out, and then after some time you become tired. You fall deeper and deeper into this abyss. Lower and lower. You see nothing, no way out.

Ever been to your lowest and thought that you just can’t go on anymore? Like, everything feels wrong. I had that moment a few days ago. I was stuck. I was tired. Really tired. With finals coming up and suddenly all the failures from before haunted me again. Expectations, disappointments, desires, wants and dreams.

I looked out of the window and it was raining heavily. A sudden feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. Things didn’t look so hopeful at that moment. I was afraid. I stared at the rain for a moment and back at my Brain and Behaviour notes. My roommate wasn’t around so my Windows Media Player was blasting God is able, by Hillsong.

As the melody played, I began to sing along. I sang…

*God is able

He is on my side

He will make a way.*

I love the bridge

*God is with us
He will go before
He will never leave us
He will never leave us
God is for us
He has open arms
He will never fail us
He will never fail us*

As I continued singing, God reminded me again to look up. He is always there. Why should I fear? I’m fighting a winning battle. His mercy remains. Should I stumble and fall, I’ll be caught by His grace.. My God is able..

When I looked up again, the rain has stopped, I smiled when I saw a rainbow, God you are always faithful. You will never fail me. It was as if God saying, when in despair, look up. I am always there.

Are you stuck today? Tired? Look up!

To finish strong

11 years today.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and praise as I reflected and look upon the past.

They always say not to think of the past, but to focus on the present moment. I think I’ll have to disagree. All of us today are products of our past. We should reflect on the past to help us make better decisions and choices for the present.

For the past year, it was a year of much faith decisions. It was those moments that everything you hold dear to fail, and you need to make a choice. A or B, B or C. It was fraught with uncertainties.

Some of my friends used to say,” I cannot imagine going through what you went through,”  or “it must be really tough right”. And some would say ” Haven’t you thought of giving up?”  ” Is it really all that worth it? ” Well, all I can say is, it is truly by God’s grace that I am here today. What you see in me, is because God chose to believe in me, and He had started a good work in me, and I believe that he will bring it to completion.

Things are not usually easy, there are some days which are more depressing than the rest, days when you wake up feeling moody and cranky, but I’ve learnt to praise Him instead. When praises go up, you can’t really stay depressed because God is just so so good.

I’ve failed so many times before in obeying Him, but He remains faithful. He is my Abba Father and He does not judge me. There are challenges in areas of trust, but as God enfolds His plans and purposes, every step gets simpler. Maybe what God wants at times is just ultimate obedience and faith.

This journey, I do not walk alone. God has blessed me with good friends, people who will support me all the way, no matter what I do, they will still be there to encourage me. My parents, my sister, my friends from Acts, my uni mates. I am such a blessed girl.

This year, what I really want is to finish strong. Challenges will come my way, sometimes my world may crumble and fall, but I know I can trust on my Rock of Salvation, He will never fail me. He is able. God is for me, and therefore, I want to be bold and VERY courageous. I will press on to the heavenly goal that Christ set for me. I will run and finish the race.

Goal( Nov 2011 and beyond) : to finish strong. Help me, Lord.